A Very Crabby Father's Day

Today was Father's Day. We got up and made breakfast and just enjoyed the pace of a very leisurely morning. Soon we realized Rodney had just disappeared without a trace. Not in the room, not in the bathroom (which was my guess), not in front of the tv. And then as Lori went to grab something in the kitchen, she spotted him on the side of the house-

Enjoying an IBC Cream Soda as he relaxed in the hot tub in the 75 degree weather and listened to the sounds of nature. He was in heaven as he watched the fish jump below in the bay while he simply relaxed. Eventually he was joined by Ava and Declan, and the three just hung out together for a bit.

All day the kids could be found trying to catch frogs or koi in one of the two ponds at the house, or

Relaxing in the tv room while taking turns swinging from the swing hanging from the ceiling, or

Hanging out on the floating dock playing or

Just visiting, or

Just laying around doing nothing.

Rodney found every excuse to hang out in the beautiful weather- talk on the phone, clip nails, check emails, you name it he did it outside.

For dinner we had an incredible feast of Maryland crabs, potatoes, corn, sausage, clams and mussels, of the which we ate on the detachable floating dock. How cool is that!!!

Everyone (except Cambria of course) enjoyed trying out the new fare.

We all got nice and gooey and had crab and Old Bay seasoning up to our elbows. Even our poor IBC bottles were covered.

As you can see, it was a hit. Every crab was eaten and we all had a lot of fun (except for Cambria who was completely grossed out and could not even sit down by us while we ate. She eventually left in tears when Declan threw a piece of crab at her and it landed on her cheek. She was embarrassed that it upset her so much, but she was really grossed out.)

After dinner we made our way back up from the dock to the yard where Rob had a fire going for us in the fire pit. We spent the night making s'mores and singing and talking. It eventually got chilly and the fire had died down, so we went in and called it a night.

It really was a perfect, lazy day- just what Rodney had wanted for Father's Day. He is feeling rejuvenated and refreshed, and we had so much fun being together as family and friends. Definitely a Father's Day not to be forgotten!

Pilots and Pirates

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Today we went to Baltimore to join in the "Star Spangled Sailabration" that is taking place there as they celebrate the bicentennial of the War of 1812. I feel really bad that I do not know why on earth there was a war in 1812 and what it did for us, but I will look that up and let everyone know since I was not alone in this lack of knowledge. (By the way, Rodney's cousin, Ora Jane, informed us today that they have 2 relatives that fought in this war. So cool) The first thing that we did was drive over to Chesapeake Bay and find a place to sit to watch the airshow. We found an awesome spot on some rocks right by the water, and it was perfect with the temp in the 80's and an awesome breeze coming off of the water. We were there for a couple hours, and at first the airshow moved really slow, having a plane or two come by and then a lull where nothing came for long patches of time. There were neat planes, but no real excitement.

And then came the Blue Angles. Seriously, need I say more. They, of course, were awesome!

What made it even more fun was that my friend Lori and her kids had never been to an airshow before, so this was thier first and it was all so exciting and new to them. What an awesome thing to see for your first airshow!

After we were done there we headed to the Inner Harbor to take a look at the Tall Ships that came in from all over the world. They were super cool, and we were excited to go tour them- and then we got there along with 200,000 other people and realized that we would be in line for hours to go through one. In the end we just walked around the harbor and enjoyed the views from the outside of the ships. It was cool, but it was very crowded, so eventually we decided we had had our fill and made our way back to the car.

Of course we could not leave without a detour to the candy shop for some treats and gelato!

I was going to go by the giant box of Nerds for my brother Johnathon, but when we got in the store we realized that it was just a giant box with a few little boxes of Nerds inside- for $35! I just coudn't make myself spend that on it, but had it been full of Nerds it would have been headed to UT this summer.

It was such a fun, fantastic, fabulous first day of East Coast vacation today. We are so greatful to our AWESOME friends, the Haldeman's, for letting us come stay with them and be a part of thier summer adventures :)

 

Irony of Life

The first piece of irony that I speak about occurred to me when I went to bed the other night at about 2 am with aching legs and feeling completely exhausted. I had been so looking forward to slowing down for summer, but I realized that I had not been to bed before 2 since the kids had gotten out of school. I realized that I had been so excited for mornings of sleeping during the summer, but that many of my mornings had been starting much earlier than I had wanted. I also realized that with 3 teenage kids that the old saying "the lazy days of summer" really does not apply. I have honestly been going longer, hard and faster since they have been out of school. With that said, it is fun to know that the kids are happy, having fun, and enjoying their time off. So while summer brake is really summer overtime for mom, like all overtime, you are rewarded with added payback.

Another piece of irony that struck me was yesterday on our way out of town. We are currently headed to DC. It has been a much anticipated vacation and we have all been looking forward to getting on our way. Rodney was supposed to fly in and be home by 4 so that he could unpack and pack and be ready to leave first thing in the morning. Of course his plane was delayed for hours and he arrived home exhausted and was not in the mood to pack. We got up the next morning to pack, but he ended up with some problems at work and it took us until 11 to get off. We had some very anxious kids and were happy to be on our way. As we pulled out I commented on Facebook, "Annapolis or bust." Who would have know 10 miles later we literally "busted". All of the sudden Rodney realized that when he hit the brakes they were not being very responsive and would go all the way to the floor. We had just had our oil change and fluids topped off the night before, so we figured that a cap had not put on tight. As we pulled into a car place to have it checked out we quickly realized that our break line had literally busted. That's right, brake fluid everywhere. Luckily we were able to get someone on it and a couple hours later we were finally back on the road, hoping to make it more than 10 miles before we had to stop again. No more busting!

Again the of irony was, that while it could have been frustrating and discouraging for everyone to finally hit the road just to have to stop, we were all so great that it happened so close to civilization where we were able to pull right in and get it taken care of, that no harm came to us, and that it was an inexpensive fix. Not much complaining, mostly thankfulness.

The last piece of irony: there is major road construction for 40 miles outside of Little Rock, AR that has had traffic stopped for over 2 hours at times. When we hit that part of the road we made it through the whole stretch with out ever stopping and never slowing below 50 mph. In the end, we really lost no time on the repair since we would have been sitting in traffic if we would have left and had no complications.

Oh, the irony you find in everyday life.

 

High School Soccer.....

This year was a different year for Declan in regards to his High School Soccer season. I was definitely one that tested and proved his character. I guess with that said, HS Soccer has always done that.

Declan's freshman year he was the JV keeper, however the coaches wanted him training with the Varsity team, so they put him in the Varsity class for the year. Him and one other boy (who happened to be way experienced beyond his years) were the only freshman in the whole class. Everyday Declan spent hours with this group of older boys. I was not thrilled about it, but after talking to him decided that we would let it play out. This particular year proved to have a pretty rough crowd in the soccer department. The boys were not only talking about parties and partying, but they were also taking drugs and selling drugs out of the locker room. Thank goodness Declan is quite confident in being alone. Most days he went to the locker room and went over to his own little corner and just did his own thing. The boys really liked him and respected him, so they never teased him or tried to get him involved, but it was very lonely at times. In fact, one day a boy was walking into the locker room asking if anybody "needed anything," he walked over to Declan and put his hand on his shoulder and said "Hey Dec." Declan immediately replied "No!" The boy was a little taken aback and said "What?" Declan then said, "No, I don't want anything." The boy then told Declan "I was just saying Hi. I would never ask you if you wanted anything. I know better, and I respect you." Declan then told him at he would appreciate it if he would only talk to him when he was not talking about drugs as he did not want to be in any part of a conversation where that was involved. They boy agreed, and that is how it was. I was very impressed with my freshman boy that was brave enough to draw such a thick line in the sand as to where he stood, even if he ran the risk of making a "cool" senior and teammate mad. What a confident kid! I, of course, was furious about the situation my child was in, but after meetings with the coaches, some parents, and some school officials, realized things were not going to change quickly. I guess I am fortunate that my son does not feel the need to be a follower, or need to be followed, but is content to walk alone.

The next year Declan became the Varsity Keeper. Most of the really bad kids had graduated and moved on, but there were still a handful of boys in the class that had issues. Fortunately there were more kids Declan's age in the class, and even a few freshman, so it kept the class quite a bit cleaner and gave him people to socialize with. While there was still the occasional talk, and even a few using before games, it was pretty hush hush. Declan had a good season and was happy with the outcome. He did good enough to feel proud, but knew where improvements could be made and looked forward to breaking new records the next year.

And then this year happened. This year most of the riff-raff was gone. The locker room was about as good as a boys locker room was going to get. Declan started into the season feeling pretty confident and happy. He practiced hard during the fall off season and then went to try outs the beginning of December. He felt GREAT about his tryout, and was even told he beat out the other goalie. He was also told that even though he beat the other kid out, the coach felt like ohe needed to play the other kid in the box 1/2 of the games to get him ready, and because he really is a good goalie too. That seemed fair, and Declan was fine with it. Then the season started. Declan was a Youth Council Leader for our stake, and had been working on Youth Conference for months. He told his coach the dates he would need to miss months before the season started and had gotten the ok to miss a pre-season scrimmage like tournament. No big deal, they had another goalie for the first time ever to cover for him (he had missed chunks of Youth Conference the previous 2 years in order to fulfill his obligations to the team). He went to the Youth Conference, had the time of his life, and then came back to find out the coach had now decided to play the other boy in the box the whole season and try Declan out in the field. Actually, it would have been nice if he would have found that out right away, but his coach just kept stringing him along telling him he would put him in the next game, and then not following through, until Declan just quit asking. There we're also a lot of talk going around about the fact that the HS coach also coaches for the club that the other keeper is in, and that there had been pressure to have the other keeper playing. It was all very disappointing for Declan, but after not playing on the field for years he took on his new position with the same intensity he did his old. He ended up being the starting forward for the season, team captain, scored 3 game winning goals, had several assists, and was 2nd in place for leading scorer. He worked hard at practice, most days coming off the field upset and ticked that everyone else had such bad attitudes and were not putting effort into practice. The coach had little ability to discipline the team because of their lack of respect, and they seemed to spend more time goofing off than practicing. In fact, Declan became the only one that was ever disciplined, completing 400 yards of Bear Crawls for going to Youth Conference instead of the game, while others missed but did not get punished (I am sure this is because he was the only one that would say "yes sir" and get out there and do it, and the coach knew it.) The season as a whole was pretty successful for the team, Declan did learn not only some good soccer lessons by being on the field, but also some good life lessons, and mom and dad learned how to just sit back and let it ride.

I swear Declan is the only forward to come with wounds every time he scores! He gives it his all!!!

As the season came to a close the coaches pulled each boy in for an evaluation and interview. When Declan went in they were shocked to learn that he had been miserable the whole season and was considering not playing his Senior year. They could not believe that the kid with the best attitude and that worked the hardest had hated what he was doing. They let him know that what he had done spoke volumes about his character. Declan let them know that he was going to use the off season to determine wether or not he would play again. He wanted to see an organized practice with a plan. He wanted to see the coach demand respect and gain control of the team. He wanted to see some effort and care on the coaches part. He was assured that things would be changing right away, and was told they needed him and would do whatever it took to keep him.

Never again the whole rest of the year did they even dress out. Never was there another practice, a skills lesson, anything. The coach actually found himself suspended for 3 days because of a prank that a couple of the freshman boys played on each other that a mom had on video and took to the school officials. In fact new school wide policies were adopted for locker room procedures because of this. Declan and I were in shock that taping someone's hands up with duck tape caused such a ruckus, while we had been trying to get something done about DRUGS in the locker rooms with no support from the school! In the end Declan was completely disheartened by the experience and went ahead and dropped soccer from his schedule next year.

I have very mixed emotions about him not playing next year. I think deep down he does too. He feels like he needs to make a point, and stick by what he told the coaches, so he has stuck by his decision. I am sure that next year when the coach realizes that Declan is no longer in soccer, he will come to him and beg him to come back. Declan told me that at that time they will have to have a heart to heart, and that things will have to change, and then he will make his decision.

Declan is a great kid, and a great example. I am proud for him always being able to stand up for what he believes is right, even if it is hard, even if there are consequences, even if he is alone. That is why when we found out that he had made 2nd team All District in a position he had never played before, we were even more proud of him and happy for him than we would normally be. He worked hard and gave it his all, all e time, even when he didn't feel like it or could have cared less. What an awesome kid I have, and what an example is is to many!

 

It's Official- I'm Getting Old

It's official- I'm getting old! Why did I just discover this you ask. No, it is not because of the wrinkles on my forehead that continue to get deeper and deeper everyday. No, it is not because it is now easier for me to gain ten pounds in a week rather than drop five. It is not because I have discovered the pleasure of napping. It isn't even because I would rather choose a night watching tv in bed over a night out on the town. While all of these things do put me in the old category, the real reason for this new official status is: I am now the mother of THREE High School kids!

Where oh where has the time gone. I can remember walking each one of them into their first day of kindergarten. Heck, I can remember their first day of preschool! It seems like just yesterday I was freaking out because Declan was headed to middle school. Now my baby is done with middle school!

But to be honest, thisis an amazing, exciting time. What a special year next year will be. Having my three kids all be at the same school is such a special treat. Not because of the logistics and carpooling (though that is a perk), but because they get to be together. I love it when I hear from Declan that he was cracking up as he walked out of his class and heard the jubilant shout "FOR NARNIA" coming from way down the hall and said "I hear my sister coming". I love that they bump into each other during the day, visit with each others friends, are there for each other if there is a need. I am excited for Cambria to be able to be a part of that amazing, private club. She has not been in the same school as her brother since 1st grade. What a special treat to get to have him near her more often in a social setting before he leaves for school. What a treat for Declan also to have those extra moments with his sisters before he leaves.

But before we get all sappy and emotional about that we get to enjoy a summer together. Lots of family, lots of fun, lots of travel. So excited to spend the summer with my 3 fabulous High Schoolers!!!

 

So good to have her back :)

Can I just tell you how happy I am to have my HAPPY, FUN, LIFE LOVING, POSITIVE Decota back. It seemed like we were seeing less and less of that outgoing girl we knew as she withdrew further and further into her shell over the last year. There have been many issues that played into her retreat, and any teenager would have had some sorrow and dark days because of them, but I know that she was struggling just to deal with life at times simply because she just plain old felt horrible. It is so much harder to be able to handle anything when you are fighting either being nauseous and throwing up, massive headaches, or being in a daze and tired everyday of the week. Decota's medicines over the last year have just really taken a toll on her poor little body. Things that she would normally be able to just brush off became mountains she didn't know if she could climb. She felt so sick that she would fight her way through school, and then come home and retreat to her room where she would just pull her covers over her head and hide. Her zest for life was slipping away and my social butterfly became more and more content to be alone. It finally got to the point where Decota was throwing up before she took her meds and could not get them down. We were back to spending hours trying to get the meds down, if we could at all. She was miserable, I was miserable. I was not sure what we were going to do, but I knew we could not continue down this path any longer. I had told her rheumatologist over and over that she was not tolerating the medicine well, but they basically felt like those were things you just had to live with when you were taking chemo. They tried to make it better by prescribing nausea meds, but they just brought on whole new problems of their own. Finally I felt like we had had enough, and I didn't know what to do anymore. We walked into her eye specialist and Decota and I told him our concerns- and what do you know, he did something about it.

On April 9th, after over 4 years of being on Methotrexate (8 if you count the other years she was on it), Dr. Calannan took her off of it and started her on Cellcept. Instant miracle in our home. Within a week the nausea stopped and Decota quickly started to reblossom into herself again. Her confidence came back, her smile reappeared, she started hanging out in the living room with family again, she wanted to be with friends again, and life was once again a beautiful thing. There has been some underlying worry that the medicine would not work, and that her health might start to regress, but for the most part we have not dwelt on that.

The days seem to continue to get better and better, but today was a great day! We went to Scottish Rite today for her first visit since the medicine change and everything looked GREAT! Not only that, but she no longer has to come in for blood work between the quarterly checkups, and only has to do it on appointment days. That may not seem like a lot, but it is 4 less trips to the hospital a year, and that much closer to having a normal teenage life. She was in such a spectacular mood all day. We celebrated and did a little shopping after the hospital visit. We had a great lunch. We joked around, danced goofy with each other, and just had fun. It really was wonderful.

And all day I just kept thinking, "There you are Decota! I have missed you so much. I have wished for your return so many times. I have prayed about the return of these moments. I have longed to hear the freeness in you laugh. I have waited for that weight to be lifted off your a shoulders that I just could not manage to lift. I have wished to see that love of life back in your eyes. I have missed our 2 way conversations. I knew you would come back, and I would have waited as long as it took, but I am so glad to see your return now. And just like always, your smile still lights up the room- but now your matching eyes light up the world! Welcome back!"

 

 

Great news! It's just the stomach virus :)

Great news! It's just the stomach virus!

Who would have the words "stomach virus" would bring relief, and do I dare say happiness?

Yesterday Decota called me a bit panicked from school. Her joints were on fire. She said she had not felt great when she went to school, a little achy, but that she just chalked it up to a long week and weekend of dancing. As second period came the aching spread from her legs, arms and back to her wrists, ankles, and digits. By third period she was in pain and miserable, and panicked that she might be having a major flare up.

Almost a month ago she was moved from methotrexate (which was causing her to be sick nearly all week each week) to Cellcept. This medicine is generally used by transplant patients to suppress their immune system and help keep them from rejecting their new organ. This is a drug we do not know a ton about and we were a little bit nervous as she started it. Would it make her sick too? Would it be as effective? Would she loose any of the progess she has made?

Luckily for us, within days we realize that she was not going to be nauseous anymore. She started to relax, and a week later you could tell a huge weight had been taken off of her shoulders. There still have been moments when she has expressed concern that the medicine will not be as effective and she will have gone backward at her next appointment, but for the most part she is transforming back into our happy, fun loving Decota.

And then yesterday happened. When I went to pick her up from school she not only looked sick, she looked worried. She had no fever, but she was cold, achy, and her stomach was cramping. I immediately thought, "oh good, it's just the flu." Really, just the flu? Yep, that was my thought. My friends were hoping it was not the flu, but not me, I wanted the flu. I could handle the flu. Just not a flare please.

This morning we went into the Dr and they swabbed and flu tested her. Three minutes later- no flu. Then a long line of questions and exams. Finally the prognosis- a stomach virus. Really, just a stomach virus? She isn't throwing up and is so achy thought. Well apparently this bug doesn't always make you throw up and can cause aches without a fever. Yay! A stomach virus- even better.

So today we relaxed, stopped worrying, and watched movies while Decota ate princess chicken noodle soup ( yes, she specifically asked for princess and spongebob). AJ, Decota's boyfriend, called at lunch time and let us know he went home not feeling well, and hour later he was throwing up. Now we really relaxed!

So who would have ever thought the stomach bug would be something to cheer about. Not me- but I am cheering!!!