The big 8

I have been so slothful with my blogging lately. I have been so busy that I know I have plenty to blog- but for now I will just work on a blog tag my sister-in-law Annie sent me. Here go my 8's:

8 t.v. shows I enjoy watching:
1) Survivor (yes, I will be on it someday! Why else am I working so hard to get my knee back)
2) Dancing with the Stars (someday I will have a dancers body- yeah right!)
3) America Idol (do you see a trend yet)
4) The Office
5) 30 Rock
6) The New Adventures of Old Christine
7) CSI
8) Numbers

8 things that happened yesterday
1) It never got above 35 degrees and I had to scrape ice off my windshield (all after being in the 70's the day before)
2) Cambria stayed home sick
3) I worked my butt off at Physical Therapy
4) Got some Visiting Teaching done
5) Did some shopping for our secret Christmas family
6) Watched Decota's Ballet and Jazz Christmas performances
7) Helped Declan get his last project of the semester finished
8) Fell asleep on the couch during Monday Night Football (right after I convinced Cambria that the Philadelphia Eagles are the Philadelphia Chickens, can't wait to here that one day in public!)

8 things on my wish list:
1) That the gifts we give our secret family to touch them for the better as much as their story has touched us.
2) That I can slow down and enjoy the season
3) That my family will all be safe over the holidays
4) That Rodney can find happiness and success in his job
5) That my kids will always feel loved and secure
6) That we can work together as a family to correct the faults of 2008 and make 2009 better
7) That I had another pair of great fitting jeans
8) That I could get these last 5 lbs off!

8 people I tag:
Unfortunately I think everyone that reads this has been tagged. If not- do it (Alicia, I don't think you have)

Our 1st boy

Saturday was Perry Max's birthday. Thinking of his birthday always reminds me of how excited we were to have our 1st boy. I was 5 when he was born, and I remember it was soooo exciting. I remember praying that we could have a boy, and waiting for Heavenly Father to send it down with a string tied to its waist. That never happened, but we did get our boy. I remember he always had a smile on his cute little face, and his sisters thought he was the cutest thing around. We were also very curious about his boy parts, and would often squeeze in to get a closer look as mom changed his diaper. This curiosity provided one of my favorite funny memories, Brittani getting a face full of pee as mom changed his diaper. I can remember being so grossed out, yet laughing so hard. Perry has made us laugh from then on. He has always been a ham, whether he was waking up from a nap and telling us about his "Joseph Smith Nap School" he had just attended in his dreams, or whether he was (and still is) bending over to pick up a quarter with his pants lowered so that we get a full moon surprise. His off the wall personality always keeps you on your toes and your sides in stitches.
I have always had a soft spot for Perry. He has always had to struggle so much more than the rest of us when it has come to book smarts. I think that he always felt a little "dumber" than the rest, and did not allow himself to feel good about his accomplishments a lot of the time. He was not very athletic also, which I know he wanted to be (probably to please my dad) but just didn't love it. This all made him just a tad different than the rest of us, and did not help with his self-worth. This always killed me because I felt like you could never find a more sincere, caring, soft hearted person than Perry, and that was what he should have been seeing in himself. I think there was a period in his life he just felt lost and alone. He was at a young and pivotal age, and really could have chosen to go one way or the other. One summer he came to stay for a little bit with me and Rodney after Declan had been born. I really think he loved that visit, I know I did. He LOVED Declan to death. We enjoyed lazy days by the hot tub, walking to the grocery store where we would buy and then consume tons of ice cream, and just being together. I remember him saying that he knew that he did not want to do anything in his life that would ever keep him from having a family and being able to be a dad. I watched him as, on that visit, he put enough faith and value in himself to make commitments to himself that he would honor- because he was worth it. I watched as the years went by, and the scholastic struggles continued, yet he continued to have faith that everything would work out- and it has. I have learned so much from his example. I hope he can always feel as great about himself as we think he is.

Perry Max makes everyone laugh. It is a joy to be around him. He puts people at ease. He can make uncomfortable situations comfortable. My kids absolutely adore him (how could you not love the man that teaches you to pick your nose). There are no off limits, he will tease anyone, anywhere. When Rodney and I went to the temple to be sealed, we started out the day by doing baptisms for the dead so that we could include my siblings, and we could seal Rodney's extended family together. As we were waiting in the Las Vegas Temple waiting room we sat in this one area with a rounded ceiling. Perry knew that this ceiling was specially designed to make it so that you could whisper while sitting on one couch, and the acoustics would make the words travel to the couch sitting across from you, so that reverence could be kept. I was sitting next to Perry, and my mother-in-law, Myra, was sitting on the couch across from us. She was feeling really excited about the day because we were taking her dad's name trough the temple. Perry leaned over to me and said "watch this", and then went on to whisper "Myra, this is your father speaking." We watched as Myra's eyes got the size of saucers, and she turned to see if the person beside her had heard. We started laughing, and she turned to us and instantly knew it was Perry. Only he could have pulled that off and not been in trouble with Myra. We all, including Myra, got a good chuckle out of it.

Perry has become such an amazing man. He has still kept his little boy sense of humor (you know, farts are hilarious), yet he has become an incredible husband and father. Every time I look at him with his family I can't help but think of the little 15 year old boy that decided he would do whatever it took to ensure that he would be able to have his own family one day, and then did it. I am so proud of him and the person he is. He is a smart, compassionate, loving, funny, strong man- and I am so grateful he is my brother. I love you Perry Max. Happy Birthday!!!

Thanksgiving

We had a wonderful Thanksgiving. I was a little bit sad about this years Thanksgiving because I was going to be the only mom since Kurt and Sam are both now divorced. I was envisioning me at home all alone while the boys all went to the game. Then I had a great surprise- Katie Allee called to tell me Jason had been soooo sweet and gotten us girls tickets, too. We ended up making plans with some friends from Dallas and meeting together to tailgate before the game. It was a lot of fun, and the Thanksgiving dinner served out of the back of the truck was wonderful. We had a really great time at the game, and I loved just being with my friends and cousins from home. It was so nice to be able to sit and visit with Katie and her sister (I sure love Katie). The rest of the guys visit was a lot of fun. My kids loved hanging out with the Todd boys, and us adults loved hanging out with each other (it is a good thing I have always felt like one of the guys). Even though there was not much estrogen in the house, it ended up being a really great weekend. I sure love my friends from home!

Poor Declan

Poor Declan witnessed an accident while working out at school today. It is funny how you just know when something has happened as a parent. I drove up to school today to pick up the kids and saw an ambulance by the locker room at the middle school. My first instinct was to go over there and see what was going on because Declan was in conditioning during the last period. Instead I parked in my usual parking space and took a minute to think- was I panicked, no not really- did I feel like something had happened to my child, kind-of but not in a panicked way- did I need to go get in the way of the what was going on to make myself feel better, no. So instead of heading over there I checked my home phone voicemail to make sure there were no messages, and then relaxed. A few minutes later I saw Declan walking out to my car and I knew something was wrong- #1 he was supposed to go to cross country right after school, #2 he had that look like he could not get to me quick enough. As he entered the car I asked what was wrong as I reached over to hug him. He wrapped up in my hug and cried as he told me his friend that had been in front of him while conditioning had been running this little step course and had missed a step and the piece of equipment (which is old and all of the padding has long since gone away) had an unprotected spike protruding from it which caught his leg and stabbed him, ripping his leg open near his shin exposing his tendons and muscles. Declan was right behind him getting ready to run it next and saw everything 1st hand. Luckily, a coach was nearby and quickly came to help. Some kids ran for other coaches, some ran for the nurse, but Declan stayed in the vicinity until the ambulance left with him. The boy went into shock immediately, and I think that was the worst part for Declan. He got upset again later as he told me about how his friend couldn't even cry because he was so out of it. He is concerned because someone mentioned that he could loose his leg, but I have reassured him that that risk is very minimal and not worth stressing over until more facts are found out. I told him not to make himself sick thinking about the pain because his friend was pretty drugged up by now. He told me that he had been close enough to hear them talking about giving him tetanus shots and getting him morphine. He also told me that he never knew muscle was purple before now. That is when I realized the poor kid had really seen too much. We talked about how gruesome and shocking it is at first, but how they can get the body put back together so well and so fast, just like in surgery, and make a person fell better very soon. I think when he realized how quickly the trauma turns into fixing, turns into healing process works, he felt better. It is just so hard to see something like that, and for it to be a friend. The girls were very sweet to him, and did a great job of talking to him and comforting him. Cambria told Declan how strong she thought he was to have had so many things happen to his friends (from injuries to deaths) and to still be fine. It was really sweet to listen to them all talk together. My concern is the safety of the kids on all of this old equipment. I know I can not get panicked and freaked out about it, accidents rarely happen, but if it had been properly padded would this have happened? I know Declan is a bit freaked out that it could have been him, but the chances of him falling on it the exact same way are slim. Last year a kid lost his finger when another kid was playing around and slammed the locker shut on it. The lockers were so dirty and rusty that they could not save the finger. At that point I had to not freak myself out about the lockers, but reminded Declan to always remember to be careful and smart in everything he does. The sad thing is that accidents will always happen. They happen because someone is generally not paying attention, but 100% attention all of the time is impossible, so they will continue to happen. I just hope my kids are learning how to be smart in avoiding them.

My Papa

Friday was my Papa's birthday. I have had him on my mind A LOT the past few days. I can not even begin to express how much I love this man. I love his little round belly (which is shrinking every time I see him) that I get to press my stomach on every time I hug him. I love his kisses every time he sees me. I love his beautiful wavy white hair. I love how intelligent he is. I love how you can look at him and SEE the love in his eyes for his grand kids and great grand kids. I love that he likes to be involved in our lives. I love that he includes me in his e-mails (some days they are just what I need to pick myself up). I love that he is not quick to judge someone, but is dimensional enough to look past things to see deeper things that others miss. I love that he is ALWAYS right, or at least thinks he is (I so got it from him). I love how you can feel his pride in you when he looks at you.

I have been very fortunate to have my Papa so present in my life. My childhood memories definitely include my Papa. I loved going to his house and getting a frozen Hershey's bar with almonds (the only candy bar that I will eat to this day, and for some reason LOVE even though I do not like chocolate). I fondly remember going to the farm with him and running around while he worked with the cows and horses ( I loved to run off to the duck pond). I remember his smell of dirt, sweat, and animals when he would kiss me goodbye when we left the farm. I also remember smelling his cowboy hats in his garage when I was little, just to have a whiff of Papa (disturbing huh). I remember going to try to cheer him up when one of his favorite horses died, and feeling special because I knew only we could make him feel better. I remember getting in trouble for taking off all of the stickers of his rubik's cube so that I could show him I beat it, how did he know! I remember a time when I felt totally lost and unsupported by any other member of my family, and my Papa stepping up to tell me it would all be OK, and that he would personally support me in any decision I made, and at that point knowing that I was unconditionally loved and would never be alone. I remember him walking me down the isle on my wedding day, and getting nervous about the decision I was making for the 1st time. He then told me about his own wedding day and how my Nanny had locked herself in a room and would not come out until they took the hinges off of the door. It immediately calmed me down and I was ready to go.

The times I was able to spend with my grandparent while my parents were on their mission will always be a treasure to me. The fact that I was able to hog them for my family is selfish, I know, but it is one of the best memories I will ever have. My husband loves and respects my grandparents as if they were his own. My children think of them as grandparents, not as great grandparents.

My Papa is a person with a rich history. I love to pick his brain and hear his stories. Every time I do I learn something new about him. He has had a full life. He has the drive of a 25 year old right out of school. No one would ever believe that this year he turned 84. He makes our lives now look like a cake walk. He has always shown me the importance of being involved in family, church and community. Because of his example I feel so strongly that my family needs to be involved in our community, and try to keep us involved in community projects. I see a lot of myself in him. Sometimes they are not the best traits (ones we like to refer to as Webb traits, but are always told by Papa that the Webb's were kind people who never spoke a harsh word, but are in fact Layton traits), but knowing that I share these traits with someone so wonderful makes me know I can have good qualities, too.

I love my Papa. I don't know how many more Birthdays we will be able to share with him, if I had my pick it would be 84 more. I can not even bring myself to think for a minute of a world without him in it. It will be a very sad day for me when his body can no longer keep up with his spirit, and he leaves it behind. I celebrate every year that we have him here to love, learn from, and enjoy. I have been so blessed to have such a wonderful man in my life, and to know of his love for me. I am so glad that my kids have such a wonderful relationship with him. I am blessed to be part of his posterity. Words could never adiquatly express my love for my Papa. It will just have to be enough to say "Papa, I Love You!" Happy Birthday!

The STORM has come

Today Rodney entered, and I quote him, "a new level of geekdom". He got up early (5:00am) and went to the Verizon store to stand in line for the new Blackberry Storm phone that was released today. He has only done that one other time, last year when we got a hot tip on the shipment of a couple Wii's, and he went and sat for hours to get one for the kids for Christmas. Today he arrived and was the third in line. The guy in front of him was a big nerd I guess. Rodney felt nerdy just being there. Then the guy actually peed his pants waiting in line. Rodney felt so bad for him, but said he did not seem to mind. The store only got in 6, and the store is one of the biggest in the metroplex, so it will be in higher demand than we thought. His contract ran out a few months ago, and Verizon has been hounding him to sign a new one, so he got a SWEET deal on it. He paid $100 while others in the store were paying $400. He is not sure how he likes it yet, but I think he will end up loving it. He has needed to get e-mail on his phone for quite sometime. I think he will realize that by having his e-mail with him all of the time he will be even more free to be out and about and playing. All he really needs to work is his phone and e-mail, and now he has it all on one device. He feels a bit cool, and a bit nerdy. I think he is the cutest, coolest nerd around.

Helpless

Last night I was the 2nd on the scene of an accident. I left to pick my kids up from mutual and the car in front of me slammed on her brakes and pulled into the center lane. I quickly slammed on mine and pulled in front of her not knowing what had happened. All I saw was one mini van blocking the road with all of the air bags deployed and its left back end crashed in. I thought, "Crap, of course the 1st day I am off my crutches and didn't put them in my car." As I hopped out I heard a voice yelling, panicking, "Help! Some one Help!!" I looked to my left and there was a man at the edge of the other lane laying there. I was so confused as to how he got there. He was a good 35-40 feet away from the car. The road we were on is a 50 mph road, and traffic was not quite slowing down yet, and because I could not move fast enough I could not get to him. Luckily the ladies behind me ran over and started talking to him. He was responsive and answered ?'s as they called 911. I asked someone to run over and check the people in the van because all of the airbags were deployed and covering up the windows, so I could not see in, but I could hear crying. It was too far for me to walk with my one bad leg, so, thankfully, a man ran over and checked them. I finally saw where the man laying in the road came from, a motorcycle that was about 25 feet away from him. I looked over at him again and was so relieved to realize he had helmet on, it was a long throw. I was so nervous that one of the cars flying by was going to run over him. We did not want to move him, I am sure there were several broken bones and he was in pain, so several of us tried to slow cars down, but they seemed to speed up as soon as they passed the van and would come so close to him. Finally an off duty police officer came and helped and seemed to spread people out more and the traffic slowed. It felt like forever until the ambulance and fire trucks got there. I just felt so helpless. I knew I could not get to any of them, all could do was continue to slow down traffic. I kept looking over at the man lying on the side of the road and thinking of my dad. As soon as help got there I got out of the way and headed to the church to tell everyone to take a different route home and warn the teenagers to drive slowly and safely. I was a bit shaken, not because it was bad or gory, just because of the thoughts that were running around in my head. Thought #1- I hate feeling helpless. I have to get better fast. Could I have done anything if it was just me there? Thought #2- Memories of the time Rodney and I saw a 14 year old girl get hit by a car going 50 mph down the street, and almost hitting her again as she flew into out lane. Being the 1st one to her and turning her to see if I could do CPR and realizing she had no recognizable face to work with. Sitting with her friend she was crossing the street with as we waited for the emergency services, and not knowing what to do to comfort her. Thought #3- Worrying about my Dad, brothers, brothers-in law, and husband as they ride their motorcycles, especially with no helmets. Knowing that Rodney, Scott, and Perry have all been hit by drivers that had not seen them and had somehow been fine. Thinking about my dad laying on the side of the road in this mans place and hoping that he would have someone there to help him and be as wonderfully comforting to him as the two women in the other car were. Thought #4- Thinking about my friend Melanie who just lost her dad in a motorcycle accident, and feeling so sad for her. I gave myself a minute to think, shake, and even cry, and then I got out of my car and went inside and called my sister and dad and asked them to remind everyone to be careful. Cambria was walking out the door with me last night to go pick-up the kids, and I suddenly turned to her and told her to just stay home. I told her that I did not feel good about her going, that it would be better just to stay home and relax and watch TV. It was not until later that night that I realized how glad I was that she had not been with me. I would hate for her to have been there. Even though it was not horrible, it leaves you shaken, and she did not need to see that. For someone who rarely feels prompted to do things, this was a perfect time to be prompted. I am truly grateful. You sure never imagine that an ordinary chore can turn into a testimony building experience, but it can.