High School Soccer.....

This year was a different year for Declan in regards to his High School Soccer season. I was definitely one that tested and proved his character. I guess with that said, HS Soccer has always done that.

Declan's freshman year he was the JV keeper, however the coaches wanted him training with the Varsity team, so they put him in the Varsity class for the year. Him and one other boy (who happened to be way experienced beyond his years) were the only freshman in the whole class. Everyday Declan spent hours with this group of older boys. I was not thrilled about it, but after talking to him decided that we would let it play out. This particular year proved to have a pretty rough crowd in the soccer department. The boys were not only talking about parties and partying, but they were also taking drugs and selling drugs out of the locker room. Thank goodness Declan is quite confident in being alone. Most days he went to the locker room and went over to his own little corner and just did his own thing. The boys really liked him and respected him, so they never teased him or tried to get him involved, but it was very lonely at times. In fact, one day a boy was walking into the locker room asking if anybody "needed anything," he walked over to Declan and put his hand on his shoulder and said "Hey Dec." Declan immediately replied "No!" The boy was a little taken aback and said "What?" Declan then said, "No, I don't want anything." The boy then told Declan "I was just saying Hi. I would never ask you if you wanted anything. I know better, and I respect you." Declan then told him at he would appreciate it if he would only talk to him when he was not talking about drugs as he did not want to be in any part of a conversation where that was involved. They boy agreed, and that is how it was. I was very impressed with my freshman boy that was brave enough to draw such a thick line in the sand as to where he stood, even if he ran the risk of making a "cool" senior and teammate mad. What a confident kid! I, of course, was furious about the situation my child was in, but after meetings with the coaches, some parents, and some school officials, realized things were not going to change quickly. I guess I am fortunate that my son does not feel the need to be a follower, or need to be followed, but is content to walk alone.

The next year Declan became the Varsity Keeper. Most of the really bad kids had graduated and moved on, but there were still a handful of boys in the class that had issues. Fortunately there were more kids Declan's age in the class, and even a few freshman, so it kept the class quite a bit cleaner and gave him people to socialize with. While there was still the occasional talk, and even a few using before games, it was pretty hush hush. Declan had a good season and was happy with the outcome. He did good enough to feel proud, but knew where improvements could be made and looked forward to breaking new records the next year.

And then this year happened. This year most of the riff-raff was gone. The locker room was about as good as a boys locker room was going to get. Declan started into the season feeling pretty confident and happy. He practiced hard during the fall off season and then went to try outs the beginning of December. He felt GREAT about his tryout, and was even told he beat out the other goalie. He was also told that even though he beat the other kid out, the coach felt like ohe needed to play the other kid in the box 1/2 of the games to get him ready, and because he really is a good goalie too. That seemed fair, and Declan was fine with it. Then the season started. Declan was a Youth Council Leader for our stake, and had been working on Youth Conference for months. He told his coach the dates he would need to miss months before the season started and had gotten the ok to miss a pre-season scrimmage like tournament. No big deal, they had another goalie for the first time ever to cover for him (he had missed chunks of Youth Conference the previous 2 years in order to fulfill his obligations to the team). He went to the Youth Conference, had the time of his life, and then came back to find out the coach had now decided to play the other boy in the box the whole season and try Declan out in the field. Actually, it would have been nice if he would have found that out right away, but his coach just kept stringing him along telling him he would put him in the next game, and then not following through, until Declan just quit asking. There we're also a lot of talk going around about the fact that the HS coach also coaches for the club that the other keeper is in, and that there had been pressure to have the other keeper playing. It was all very disappointing for Declan, but after not playing on the field for years he took on his new position with the same intensity he did his old. He ended up being the starting forward for the season, team captain, scored 3 game winning goals, had several assists, and was 2nd in place for leading scorer. He worked hard at practice, most days coming off the field upset and ticked that everyone else had such bad attitudes and were not putting effort into practice. The coach had little ability to discipline the team because of their lack of respect, and they seemed to spend more time goofing off than practicing. In fact, Declan became the only one that was ever disciplined, completing 400 yards of Bear Crawls for going to Youth Conference instead of the game, while others missed but did not get punished (I am sure this is because he was the only one that would say "yes sir" and get out there and do it, and the coach knew it.) The season as a whole was pretty successful for the team, Declan did learn not only some good soccer lessons by being on the field, but also some good life lessons, and mom and dad learned how to just sit back and let it ride.

I swear Declan is the only forward to come with wounds every time he scores! He gives it his all!!!

As the season came to a close the coaches pulled each boy in for an evaluation and interview. When Declan went in they were shocked to learn that he had been miserable the whole season and was considering not playing his Senior year. They could not believe that the kid with the best attitude and that worked the hardest had hated what he was doing. They let him know that what he had done spoke volumes about his character. Declan let them know that he was going to use the off season to determine wether or not he would play again. He wanted to see an organized practice with a plan. He wanted to see the coach demand respect and gain control of the team. He wanted to see some effort and care on the coaches part. He was assured that things would be changing right away, and was told they needed him and would do whatever it took to keep him.

Never again the whole rest of the year did they even dress out. Never was there another practice, a skills lesson, anything. The coach actually found himself suspended for 3 days because of a prank that a couple of the freshman boys played on each other that a mom had on video and took to the school officials. In fact new school wide policies were adopted for locker room procedures because of this. Declan and I were in shock that taping someone's hands up with duck tape caused such a ruckus, while we had been trying to get something done about DRUGS in the locker rooms with no support from the school! In the end Declan was completely disheartened by the experience and went ahead and dropped soccer from his schedule next year.

I have very mixed emotions about him not playing next year. I think deep down he does too. He feels like he needs to make a point, and stick by what he told the coaches, so he has stuck by his decision. I am sure that next year when the coach realizes that Declan is no longer in soccer, he will come to him and beg him to come back. Declan told me that at that time they will have to have a heart to heart, and that things will have to change, and then he will make his decision.

Declan is a great kid, and a great example. I am proud for him always being able to stand up for what he believes is right, even if it is hard, even if there are consequences, even if he is alone. That is why when we found out that he had made 2nd team All District in a position he had never played before, we were even more proud of him and happy for him than we would normally be. He worked hard and gave it his all, all e time, even when he didn't feel like it or could have cared less. What an awesome kid I have, and what an example is is to many!