On The Road to Recovery

I really did not expect this surgery to be such a big deal. I was sure I would be walking around pretty good by now, and that I would be shocking the pants off of everyone as I "recovered so fast". I was wrong! It has been 3 days since my surgery and I am still camped out in bed. Let me tell you a bit about it:

Day 1- Rodney and I left the house at about 5:45 am to get to the surgical center for my ACL reconstruction. I was excited, and really not the least bit nervous. When they called me back for pre-op I kissed Rodney good-bye and hopped on back to get this thing over. After I was all dressed, IV'd, and ready, they called Rodney back to sit with me. This was not something that he was expecting to have to do, and I could see that he was not thrilled to have to be in the "hospital" area. They prepped my leg and ran through the procedure with us, and then gave me a little something to "help me relax". Relax nothing- I can't remember a single thing after that, although Rodney told me I got quite chatty after that. I guess as they wheeled me back to the operating room I was talking their ears off (I just hope I didn't ask the doctor to make all of this really worth it and make my boobs bigger while he was working on me!) It was supposed to be an easy procedure and I was supposed to be out of surgery in an hour to and hour and a half. Well, I guess the doctor had never been warned, nothing is just "easy" with me. When he got in there he realized that the artificial ligament that had been put in there previously had broken down and turned into "tons of tiny threads of spaghetti" in my leg. He had to do a lot of drilling and vacuuming to get it all out, and I guess he had to constantly unclog his vacuum because there was so much junk. Then he also realized that my meniscus was torn, so he had to fix that as well. In the end the surgery ended up taking 2 1/2 hours, and is going to set my healing time back a bit. When I woke up he told me that I was not allowed to put weight on my leg for 4 weeks!!! I was sure I'd be walking the next day. He also told Rodney I could be quite sore because of all of the drilling and moving of tissue he had done to get everything out. When we left the surgical center I felt great. I came home and sat downstairs and visited most of the day and felt wonderful. I never got emotional, I never threw up, I never felt much pain. All I needed was a few Advil here and there, and I was bending my leg like it was no big deal. I enjoyed being around everyone that night and thought "This is a breeze. I will be back at it soon, no problem." That night I decided to take one pain pill when I went to sleep just to make sure I was comfortable all night.

Day 2- I woke up a bit more sore Thursday. I could feel some swelling starting to kick in, so I decided to take it easy and just stay in my bed with my leg elevated. As the day wore on I got more and more stiff. I took 3 pain pills throughout the day, and was amazed how much the pressure on my bandages seemed to be growing by the hour. Mom and Rodney babied me all day, and I just laid there, reading, sleeping and just zoning out. By afternoon I hurt from my mid thigh the tip of my toe. My calf and ankle were pretty dang sore. By the end of the evening, I was pooped and ready to get some relief. This day was definitely harder than I expected. I took 2 pain pills when I went to bed at 10:00, and fell into a deep sleep.

Day3- Friday I woke up at 2:30 am and laid there monitoring my pain as is crept back into my leg. At 3:00 I decided to take another 2 pain pills to stay on top of the pain and get some more rest. At 5:30 I woke up feeling like my whole body was so heavy I was sinking into the bed. I felt like my chest was so heavy It was squishing my lungs. I monitored my breathing, and realized that I was breathing just fine, but could not convince myself that it was fine enough to not have to blow up my body like a balloon to relieve the weight. I laid there and took big breaths that I imagined where "blowing me up". I then laid there and envisioned the air leaking out as my body went flat again. Of course I then had to take some more big breaths to blow up my chest again. I knew in my head that I really was not anything to help, but I couldn't help doing it. I finally got up and stretched a bit, moving my leg around and breathing. I thought about going to the bathroom, but decided I was to dizzy and heavy to try to make it, so I laid back down and slipped back into sleep. I remember waking up a couple times as the kids were getting ready, and yelling out that I loved them, but I don't think anyone heard. The next thing I knew, mom was bringing me pancakes and eggs and the kids were gone. It took me awhile to eat them, I kept finding myself staring into space. When I got done I decided I needed to shake off the funk I was in and get up and get ready (to sit in bed again all day). Rodney and I started talking about how we hadn't even gotten to wish Decota "Happy Birthday" that morning (I was asleep and he was in the shower when she left for school) and decided to call her on her new cell phone and leave her a message telling her Happy Birthday (we did celebrate it Wednesday night and she had opened all of her presents then). When Rodney called her she did not have it off, and he heard her open it and say "It's mine, I'm so sorry!". A few minutes later she called us back upset that something may be wrong at home, and upset because she had gotten in trouble for having her phone on at school. I talked to her and tried to calm her down, but she broke into hysterical crying. I then talked to her teacher and told her what had happened and apologized. She told me she would not take Decota's phone away because she was so upset, and she believed that Decota had not meant to have it on. After we got off of the phone I felt like crap! I hadn't said Happy Birthday to her in the morning, and now she was upset and I couldn't go to the school and comfort her. When I told mom about it I just bawled. She decided to go ahead and got to the school, give Decota some eye drops that she needed, and check on her (which made me feel a lot better). After she left I couldn't make myself stop crying. I kept going, and going, and going. I told myself that everything was OK, but I just couldn't stop. Then Rodney came into the room, and I started crying even harder. I couldn't stop- and then, all of the sudden, I was laughing hysterically. I then went from crying to laughing for the next several minutes- so hard, in fact, that I could hardly catch my breath. Rodney proceeded to ask how much pain medication I had taken, and then came to count them all out to make sure I had my facts straight. I was exactly right, but we decided that I probably needed to lay off of them for a while. After a couple more hours I stopped staring off into space so much and began to feel like myself again. The pain was a lot better that day, and Advil did the trick, but I had an upset stomach from taking laxatives with no results. At the end of the day I decided to go watch TV with mom and Cambria. It was not the most comfortable thing, but it was a great change of scenery. Later, after Rodney, Declan, and Decota returned from the High School football game, I went downstairs, gave Decota her shot, and we had cake. All of the sudden I felt quite light headed. Decota said "Mom, why are you white? Why are you green now?". I decided I had had enough adventure for one day, so I wobbly took myself upstairs and went to bed- with 2 Advil and another laxative.

Day 4- Today is Saturday. I didn't wake up stoned, but I don't know that I did much better. I woke Rodney up to get Declan to a band rehearsal at 9:00. His teacher did not show up until 9:40. I had Rodney pick Declan up at 9:45 and take him to the soccer field to ref 2 games. I sent them to the wrong field. Declan finally made it to the right field, missing the 1st half. He called frantically because his ref whistle had broken, nothing I could do about it but let him figure it out. I tried to help out with some chores in my room. I was dizzy and nauseous by the time I simply wiped down the counter tops and dusted my dresser. My laxatives finally kicked in, sometimes I wonder if that is a good thing. I finally ended up back in bed. This afternoon I feel pretty dang good, that is until I get up for more than 5 minutes. I missed all of the soccer games today, missed taking Decota out to spend her birthday money, basically missed Saturday. I guess I just thought I would be a lot further ahead on my progress by now. I can move my leg a lot more today than the past 2 days. The swelling is a lot better. I feel more like myself. I just don't know how to get to the next phase, the one where I can get everywhere on my crutches without being dizzy or worn out. I know, I know, one day at a time. I am being patient. It is not a race. I can see that each day is getting better. Heck, tomorrow I even get to take a real shower, no more sponge baths! I am just so glad mom is here. I truly couldn't have done it without her. I think Rodney would have died if he was on his own at this point. Everyone is being well cared for (maybe a little bit to well- they might not want me back). I guess I will just lay back and continue to let my body tell me when it is ready for the next phase. Until then I should enjoy having my laundry done, my house cleaned, my meals made, and a chauffeur for my kids. I always wanted to be a kept woman!